Behavior Modification - Sticker City!

One of the changes we have made in our house is adding in some serious structure.  M has always craved structure, to the point of almost being unable to function if she doesn't have a specific activity to focus on at any given moment.  Can I just say, as a single parent, this is soooo draining.  (She couldn't even go in her playroom and just play, I'd have to direct her activities and name specific things for her to play with otherwise she'd be back out in 5 minutes asking to watch TV.)  The developmental pediatrician recommended having a structured system in place for expectations, goals, etc.  We have had moderate success in the past with behavior charts, sticker charts, etc. but the novelty always wears off quickly and M doesn't seem to want to stay on board.  I also felt like we'd get to the point where I was rewarding things that she should be doing anyway and we also focused on a lot of things that could be highly subjective depending on the mood of the sticker-awarder.

It took me a little while to come up with a plan of action.  That's okay because she is doing so much better, that it's not as much a lifesaver now, more just a system for keeping our lives in order.  It's actually a multi-tiered plan (stolen from a good friend) that is specifically catered to our house and my expectations and is very focused on the areas that are most difficult and distracting.

Our first sticker chart is a basic layout of our day.  When she meets a goal, she gets a sticker.  If she meets all her goals for the day, she gets a bonus sticker.  Each sticker is worth 10 cents, so by the end of the week, she has the potential to earn $4.90 - which of course, I'd round up to $5.  (I'm also planning on buying her one of those banks that requires her to put money in a section for spend, save, and give.)

Monday thru Friday is the same routine (Morning, School, Clean Up, Feed Pets, Bedtime, Good Day); on weekends, we take out the School and Clean Up chores and throw in Clean Bedroom and Clean Playroom.  These two are each worth two stickers and she can do them on either day, her choice.

I have also outlined for her what it takes to earn a sticker (I am SO GLAD she can read now!!!).  Obviously, Clean Up just means putting away anything she's gotten out that evening and Feed Pets is self-explanatory.  For the others, she has a chart to tell her what needs to be done (all without my nagging and minimal reminders) to earn a sticker.

• Mornings - she must take her medicine, go to the bathroom, get dressed, eat breakfast, and brush her teeth to get a sticker (all this must also be done before she can play).  Mornings used to take us 90 minutes to get ready; now, if she stays on task, she can do this in less than 20.
• School - she must stay in her seat and be a good listener (she is blatantly honest about her behavior at school), have no visits to the office, and must do her best work.
• Bedtime - she must take her bath, put her PJs on, take her medicine, and brush her teeth before bed.  Then she must stay in bed all night. 
• Good Day - No tantrums, must use respectful words, and have good listening at home.

Since the first chart is all about structure, expectations, and basically earning an allowance, I wanted to give her a chance to earn some "off-the-chart" stickers for different rewards.  Sort of a bonus.  Whenever she does something super great (and without her expecting anything beforehand), I'll give her a Super Special Reward sticker.  Once she earns 10 of these, we will have a date - dinner, movie, Redbox, park, something with just me and her and all about her.  She earned her first one for having an absolutely INCREDIBLE trip to the grocery store (usually the worst part of our week).  She's also earned them for having a great attitude with helping me do some "big" chores around the house and for reading me a whole chapter out of one of her Junie B books.

The last sticker chart we have is hopefully a temporary one (by the time we finish the chart, I hope she will understand what is expected of her).  One of M's favorite activites of the week is karate (actually tae kwon do).  She loves it but it is really stressful for us.  It's at the end of a long day of school but before supper.  It's at the time her medicine is usually wearing off and she has to focus extra hard to pay attention.  AND it's in an open, very busy gym that is filled with distractions.  Every week has gotten a little bit harder, so I decided we needed a chart to focus just on karate.  So, I just found a quick one online and printed it out.  When she gets 7 stickers, she'll get a big prize....luckily, I have 6 more weeks (at least) until I have to decide what that big prize is.  She finally had a great night last night...very minimal difficulty paying attention, only a little fidgeting.  Pshew.

So this is what the side of our pantry looks like......sticker city!!

And it works!!  Woohoo!!